I'm in Moncton at the moment. At my parents house to be exact. So far, the weekend has gone splendidly. I've so far seen half the people I wanted to see; the other half I will see in the next 24 hours.

We stayed at my folk's on Saturday night. They were away, obviously, so we had free reign of the house. Fun stuff. We stayed in the Bear Room. My mother collects Teddy Bears, and she converted my sister's old bedroom into a guest room/display room for the bears. There is a bear border all the way around the room, and every one of the bears has these black, cold, beady eyes that stare at you when you are sleeping/doing something that betrays the child-like purity of said bear room. Despite the eyes, a good time was had by all.

Until the screaming began.

I woke up in the middle of the night screaming. I don't know why, but I woke both of us up. I've done it once before in recent memory, shortly after I got Sexy. It really freaks me out. What demons lurk in my sub-conscious that prompt me to scream out?

Anyway. I'm just waiting around for my mother to come home so I can spend some time with her before I go to that job fair at the Y. I don't think the job fair will do me much good, as I am not, nor ever will be, a swim instructor, or child care provider, but at this point, it can't hurt, right?

Off to take a shower, and get all purty-like.

This baby lamb would jump up on peoples back as soon as they would bend over to pet him. Adorable!

I have visions of me looking like this when I get old... Chewing my cud...

I fixed up my template a bit this afternoon, kiddies. I also added a few more links for you all to enjoy.

The first new blog is Scarleteen. I don't know why I never added it before, because I check it every day. Anything you want to know about sex (besides technique) is there.

The second is Spanking Blog. Ouch. This is is a bit... graphic. So, if you're not into that sort of stuff, or are under 18, best stay away from it.

Finally, we have the Red Sneaker Diaries. I think this is what my blog would look like, if I had the balls to make a 'real' sex blog.

Seeing as how Christmas is coming up...

I really, really, really want this. Please buy it for me. I'll be your best friend. And if I'm already your best friend, I'll, uhm.. have sex with you. And if I'm already having sex with you... hm.. well, I'll let you have my best friend.

So, another day job searching. Obviously, no major news to report, but I am still on the hunt.

Also, Chapman's (by the way: who the fuck designed this sight?? Comic Sans MS? What the hell?) makes a really good ice cream sandwich. It's Strawberry Shortcake flavoured. They are really, really good. Just have one though. As I have just discovered, one is delicious, 2 is revolting.

It feels like forever since I've been home. It's only been.. Hm, well, it's been 4 weeks, and that, I think, is a new record. As I recal, I start to feel pretty squirlly at the 3-week mark. So, for all intense porpoises, it has been forever.

By the way, you English teacher-types, that porpoise joke was intentional. My English isn't getting THAT bad.

You know what they say. All work and no play....

It's been a while since I've done anything different with my hair. With geographic/domestic changes comes a need to change my look. I've been kicking around a few ideas. I was thinking about going short again, but I think I really like my hair this length. The style might change, but I won't go super-short, at least for a little while.

The colour, however, is something I'm giving more consideration to.

Maybe something like this, but with a few blond highlights? Or this? One more?

Anyone have any suggestions?

Okay, back to the search....

For the first time since.... well. I don't know when. Maybe since I've moved down here. I feel in control of things. I feel more confident in my decisions about life. I know that what I'm doing make sense, in more than one way.

I've been a job-searching machine this week. I have nothing incredibly promising, but I have a few leads, and that feels really, really good. I think I'll be able to make it back by mid-late October.

I had many dreams last night. This, I've found, is a very reliable measure of my mental state. When I don't dream, I feel disconnected from myself, that my id and ego aren't adequately communicating with each other, so I ended up feeling.. split. Last night, however, my dreams were vivid. The first one I remember was that I was at someone's house, don't know who. I was somehow heating up other cars or something with this big white jeep (think OJ's Bronco). I ended up overheating the Jeep, and it caught on fire. I felt really bad, and I think (in my dream) it belonged to an ex of mine, who didn't really seem to care that much. Hm. The other dream I remember was being at Lloyds of Moncton, trying to find a Halloween costume. This dream wasn't that odd, cuz, well, Halloween is approaching, and I've already started thinking about possible costumes. I thought maybe Kelly Osbourne? I have the boobs, the height, and the cheeks. All I need is the outlandish makeup, black hairspray, and maybe a boustier. On the other hand, I have been classical in my Halloween get-ups the past few years (werewolves and zombies...). Maybe I could dust of my old Vampire costume?

Of course, I don't really know where I will be this halloween. For all I know, I could be stuck in my parents basement, giving out treats to the little kiddies. If I have my dithers, though, I'll be in the bedroom of an apartment somewhere in downtown Moncton, giving out treats of my own to one big kid.

Anyway.

I am, right now, really happy. I'm excited about the future, and I'm happy with the present. The work I've been doing here has been going really well. I must say I'm quite proud of myself, for a lot of reasons. I like getting up in the morning and seeing Sexy sleeping in my arms. I like putting on jeans that are two sizes smaller than the jeans I was wearing when I first came here. I like having the sun beam in at me from my window, over the mountains and off the river, while I watch Canada AM. I like walking to work, and waving at people, now that I know most of them. I like that my boss is away for two weeks, allowing me the perfect opportunity to look for jobs. I like how a lot of people are helping me try to find a job.

Yay. \m/

And finally: Everything you wanted to know about stripping.

I am now the proud owner of a Gmail address.

bigboob@gmail.com

Enjoy, kiddies.

After several attempts to upgrade my Internet Explorer, I finally ditched my effort (with a little extra encouraging from Tiresa, I finally decided to go with Firefox.

Why do I Like Firefox?

1. I can finally get into my online banking.
2. I can finally access all the fun stuff in Blogger (obviously).
3. I only had to install once, not 372 times, like with IE.
   
4. Firefox just sounds more.... sexy.
   
5. I can finally get GMAIL!!!!
   

Actual conversation (edited slightly for comedic purposes):

Pre-amble: We were talking about my plans on leaving, and my job search...


Jallápenno: so what are you thinking, are you going to come back regardless of employment? is UW going to give you permanence and benefits yet?

JennX says: Well, I think so. It's it's like nov/dec, with still no job, I'll still be coming back, I think, but I hope to HELL I can find something before that. And no, because I didn't take what they were giving me before, they hired someone else, and now can't afford me.

Jallápenno: ok UW sucks, so they can burn

Jallápenno: lol

JennX says: haha.. yes.. I'll blow down the building.

Jallápenno: sweet
Jallápenno: or blow up
Jallápenno: you've been hanging out with Mr. Wonderful too much

JennX says: haha.. I have, yes, but is there a particular reason you said that?

Jallápenno says: because you sound sort of....French

JennX says: you're right, haha..
JennX says: blow down?

Jallápenno says: blow down sounds sort of like you're the big bad wolf

Jallápenno says: hahaha
Jallápenno says: yes

JennX says: haha.. I didn't even NOTICE that one.

Jallápenno says: hahah
Jallápenno says: tooooo much time

JennX says: When I start saying AM instead of I'M, you have to re-intergrate me back into anglo-world.

Jallápenno says: can do

JennX says: it's funny though.. I'm sounding more french, but my french is NOT IMPROVING. Doesn't seem fair...


...Then we went on to talk about beautiful, beautiful Brady who is part of the Survivor 9 cast. Yum. Can't wait until it starts.

Hm. Now that I've 1)made fun of the French and 2) talked about hot guys that are NOT Mr. Wonderful, I think I've pretty much eliminated any chance of having him watch it with me. Oh dear.

So, it was about 2 weeks in the making. Last night I finally lost it.

I've just been so goddamn sick and fucking tired of staying/leaving/looking for jobs/feeling guilty about leaaving my current one/missing Mr. Wonderful, my friends, and my family/ second guessing myself/sleepness nights/worry/worry/worry. I just got tired of not feeling like my regular laid-back self, and turning into a crazy, self-absorbed worry wart.

Last night, after my mom had just informed me that my interest relief application had been denied, I just couldn't hold it back anymore, and I just lost it. I became a teary, runny-nosed, mascara-running, hair-pulling disaster. I screamed into the phone, not at my mother, but at everything. I talked about everything I haven't been able to articulate (to my own satisfaction), and just blabbed about everything that's been pissing me off.

I got of the phone, and the 2nd wave began. This time, alone, where feelings became amplified and I felt like I was being punched in the chest. Sexy sat on the floor near me and looked at me, and I started crying more at how fucking ridiculous I am.

This kept on for a while. As I was starting to calm down, my landlord called. He said my washer would be installed the next morning. Aah, a little ray of sunshine.

A Little Porn is Good For You

I know I'm not the only one who thinks the Olympic Torch looks like a giant joint, right?


Pass the dutchie....

Even the mini torches look like little doobs.

I don't really understand how this got past so many levels of people in the Olympic Planning Committee.

Jana just told me that the Athens Olympic Motto this year is "Pass the Flame: Unite the World". Perfect.

Also, in other news, I'm trying to do something pretty exciting (at least, for me). It's a secret, though.

\m/

I've gotten over the initial devastation for not getting the job. A parade can do wonders for a gir's disposition.

Friday night was spent cooking and chilling in front of the ol' boob tube. Saturday morning, I got up early, made breakfast, and prepared to go to the SH annual parade.

Oh yes, a parade.

I decided to take Sexy along with me. People are forever bringing their dogs to such events, and I thought she'd like the trip.

She was quite popular. There were a bunch of *%#@@ four year olds who were petting/molesting/punching/squeezing her, but she took it all in stride. I was proud of my kitty. This is a good sign IF children are ever in my picture. She got a little spooked at all the 18-wheelers blowing their horns, but she curled up with me, under an umbrella, so she was fine.

Oh, hey, remember the plumber truck picture? With the guy on the toilet? Well, he was there. Kinda neat. I took (another) picture of him, just to prove it.

Saturday night was spent hatching a plan with Vicks over her possible visit to SH on Sunday afternoon.

I'll spare you all the details, but she arrived at 1:00am this morning. I saw her for about an hour, and then she drove back home, to Freddy. Egads, man.

Anyway, back to Saturday. It was a lonely night, so I did the only thing I could do. I tried looking up porn on the internet. I realized that, pornography wise, I'm much more aroused by sounds than pictures. I suppose this makes sense, because I am rather, ahem, vocal when having relations.

I also realized something else. I'm a voyeur. Although I somewhat enjoy porno movies, I really amateur type movies, where it's real couples. The "Sweetness Follows" site on my blogroll on the right hand side of this page has a audio-link page that always gets me pretty hot-and-heavy. I enjoy hearing the realness of it. Porn sex just isn't believable enough for me. For instance, in the film I wanted Saturday night (think MacBeth meets Cum Sluts 17), some parts were just silly. For example, the kissing - especially the girl on girl kissing. It's not really kissing. It's just two girls sticking their tongues out and hitting the tongues together. No one ever kisses like this in real life. Ever. Then there is the moaning. It's too rhythmic. Porn moans sound like ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh. Real sex moans sound like mmmm-......-ooooOOOoooOoo-yyessssss-MmmMmmmm-.......-....ooooOOoooOOO. It's much more random and spontaneous, don't you think?

I think there are a few reasons I have this fetish. The first is that sex was also a very no-no subject in my house. I remember staying up late watching Bleu Nuit (a soft-core porn show shown at around 1am on Saturday nights from Quebec), with the sound off. Also, I've been in a few situations where I've been in close proximity to coupling couples. Although there was definitely some annoyance in being put in that situation without my consent, I can't deny it was definitely erotic.

Hm, I don't really know what to say about that.

Blah, blah, blah.

We have confirmation.

Hm. Well. Yeah.

:(

Am I the only one that finds this at least slightly kinky?

I've realized that my monthly visits to Moncton, and my monthly visits from Aunt Flo are badly timed. Therefore, I spend many of my weekends in good ol' SH like an aformentioned 5 peckered rabbit in a bowling alley.

So, this weekend, it's porn, porn, porn. Booyah.

Tomorrow, there's a town parade. That should be, uhm, interesting. It's at 1, so I'll probably go. I think I was supposed to, like, do something for the parade, but I only really found out about it today, and I can't very well just walk along the parade route giving out condoms to all the little boys and girls now can I?

So, of course, still no word about the job. I've checked my phone messages all day, and have just sent yet another email to them. Right now, I'm operating on the conclusion that I didn't get it. Though it sucks for many reasons, I'm not devastated. It's just back to the drawing board.

Okay, well, yes, as a matter of fact, I am devasted. It's just that, if I let it get to me, I will go loopy and do something stupid.

Also, no washing machine yet. This was going to be the most exciting thing to do this weekend, but it still hasn't been hooked up, so I'll have to wash everything by hand, again, which I realized I'm not very good at, as most of my clothes all now have a bit of a ripe smell to them.

One more thing. It's the sand sculpture competition on Sunday. Maybe you'd like to come? Anyone? You can go here for some, erh, pictures of them, uhm, competition. My favorite is the second picture on the top row. That's some, erh, nice.... sand.

On, one other thing. I may have arsenic poisoning. Maybe that could explain my trouble with typing and all-over hand-eye coordination problems I've been having lately.

Well, probably not.

But, last night, I was sleeping in my nightgown. I don't usually wear underwear to bed. In the middle of the night, Sexy crawled under the covers, up my legs, and started sniffing my ass/crotch and then licked. Ew. I yanked her out pretty quick, I tell you whot.

Not that there's anything wrong with being gay. Just, in my house, I have a strick 'only one pussy under the covers at a time' rule.

This must be why I've been grumpy lately...

In other news, I'm preparing for an exciting weekend, alone, in SH. I think I have a few things on the menu, but we'll see. Still no word from the job yet, and I have a sneaking suspicion that I won't hear back from them this week at all. By this point, I'm fairly certain that I didn't get it. I've continued looking for opening, but the jobs are very slim pickings.

*sigh*

So, I'm planning this big inclusivity/awareness/sensitivity training/workshop/conference for September, and I'm stuck. I want to give it a catchy name. So far, the closest I've come to anything that even resembles a work is the S. H. Inclusivity Training. Or, SHIT for short. I've tried to work PP in there, too, but the closest I came was "P.P.A.W" for PP Awareness Workshop. Humpf. So, anyone have any suggestions?

In other news, I think my cheese has officially slid off my cracker. I've spent the past few days bordering on homicidal rage, clinical depression, and multiple personal disorder. It's been fun. I've just been letting things around me get to me maybe more than they should. Last night a nasty little migraine put me out of commission for a few hours. It was probably for the best. Does anyone else get migraines here? I only get them when I stress without any sort of release. My vision goes funny, and I don't want to see or hear anything, and then the viscious headache starts. Again, fun.

So, now that I have accepted my small-scale mental breakdown, I'm beginning to see things a bit more clearly. However, I'm facing a weekend with no boyfriend or mother to help break up my days. I think I will busy myself with laundry, or going to the Dollar Store.

Oh, in case you needed more incentive to come see me, I befriended a fellow on the SH bus last Saturday. He works for Sherbrooke Village. He was a cool guy. He's a jazz musician, and is a bit of a leftist hippy type, with a big, bushy beard and a hawaiian shirt. Also, we are, more than likely, somehow related, as we both are descendents of Richard families. He gave me one of his tapes (that I have yet to review, but will). I just received an email from him saying it was nice to meet me, etc, etc, and that if I ever wanted to experience the Village (the tourist attraction, not the movie), that he'd put some passes aside for me. That's nice, non? I probably will never get there, but still, it's a nice gesture.

What the sam hill is going on in this picture!?

A ride. Are any of my faithful readers traveling to, or around Parrsboro, NS this weekend? Mr. Wonderful is taking a paragliding course (cool, non?) this weekend, but his drive from Amherst to Parrsboro fell through. He assures me he can be "most generous", though not in a sexual way (at least, he better not mean it that way...).

If anyone can help out, you'd be putting a big deposit in the karma bank. Comment or email if you can! Gracias!

So, no back-riding for me, I guess. For the uninformed, though, I will post the correct answers to some of the questions any of you got wrong..

3. Take a stab at my middle name: It's Lynn (pft.. "Monica...")

6. Do I believe in God? Interesting question. Though I've decided I am not a Christian (ie: I do not believe that Jesus was necessarily an embodiment of God), I do believe in a god, though he's not the boss of me. I don't live my life according to any religious tradition. I just try to be a good person.

7. Month of my birthday: June 17, 1979 (that makes me a Gemini Sheep)

8. Hair color: Currently, blonde with brown chunks. I've got a hankering for change though....

11. What's one of my favorite things to do outdoors?
12. What's one of my favorite things to do indoors?

Remarkably, unanimously you all got this right. I am both sickened and proud.

14. What's my favorite type of music? Mr. Wonderful was probably the closest on this one. I like a little bit of everything, so I usually prefer to listen to my own mixes.

15. What is my best feature? Well, no one said "everything!", but nevertheless, you all did well. The "eyes" comment was pretty surprising, actually.

21. Have you ever seen me cry? This one was pretty interesting. Besides my sister, no one has seen my cry. Do I not emote enough?

I will retest in 6 months. Y'all better get it right this time.

Goddamnit. I have to wait another week for the big decision.

Barf.

Besides today's pissoff, the weekend was pretty good. I got a decent-but-not-spectacular pedicure, then went shopping. Some of my clothes are a bit loose, so I wanted to get some things that fit. I ended up getting a new pair of jeans, two short black skirts, a shirt, and a great slinky black nightgown with "Sexy" written in 'diamonds' at the top. Sexy (the kitten) loves it. As do I.

I hadn't done much shopping in a long time, so this felt really good. What's more is that I'm getting a new washing machine today, so I get to wash all my clothes with a machine that actually works, and that I don't have to babysit. Oh, joy of joys.

So.... Anyone want to visit me this weekend? I'm going to be so very, very lonely this weekend, and need some company. Mr. Wonderful is taking a paragliding course, leaving my phone ring-less. We could go to the beach and I'll buy you ice cream. C'mon. It'll be fun. Please?


If you can't, though, you should probably buy me one of these.

From The Toronto Star:

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we," Bush said.


Uhm....

From my good pal over at Moderately Spicy:

Fill out the following (copy & pasted into the comments section) about ME.


1. My name:

2. Where did we meet?

3. Take a stab at my middle name:

4. How long have you known me?

5. When is the last time we saw each other?

6. Do I believe in God?

7. Month of my birthday: (Bonus points if you can give a date.)

8. Hair color:

9. Eye color:

10. Do I have any siblings?

11. What's one of my favorite things to do outdoors?

12. What's one of my favorite things to do indoors?

13. Do you remember one of the first things I said to you?

14. What's my favorite type of music?

15. What is my best feature?

16. Am I shy or outgoing?

17. Would you say I am funny ha-ha or funny sarcastic?

18. Am I a rebel or do I follow all the rules?

19. Would you consider me a friend, an acquaintance, or a good friend?

20. Would you call me hippie, glam, nerdy, snobby, or something else?

21. Have you ever seen me cry?

22. If there were one good nickname for me what would it be?

23. If I had broccoli stuck in my teeth would you tell me?

24. Is there anything you need to tell me?

I first met him in a trashy hotel room, at 6 o'clock in the morning. I had just spent the previous night with a... friend, biting, and slapping him until he was black and blue; his idea, not mine. After this night of utter, complete debauchery, is was nice, if not surreal, to see this little guy wander around the TV screen, with light, chirpy, jazzy music playing in the background.

To this day, though, Untalkative Bunny still sort of makes me feel funny.. you know.. down there.





Untalkative Bunny! I almost forgot about you!

Okay, fuck, first of all.. can someone help me wit this??

IE6WZD caused an invalid page fault in
module SETUPAPI.DLL at 0167:77ea6777.

Everytime I try to update Internet Explorer, I get this goddamned error message. I really need to update because 1) I'll be able to access all the handy new Blogger features and 2) I'll be able to do my online banking on this computer rather that use someone elses... among other reasons, of course.

Anyone?


So, anyway, I'm in that horrid space of just waiting for things to happen. My mind leapfrogs to THE FUTURE, both immediate and far-reaching. One is rather pleasant, one... not so much.

I haven't been feeling tip-top the past few days. No doubt the symptoms are menses-related, but I still just feel like a big sook, and I hate that.

Hm. I haven't posted anything.. y'know.. INTERESTING in a while. I'll cook something up. Promise.

This picture is making it's way around the Internet. He apparently has been interviewed by different news agencies around the world. He is also my boss's husbands first cousin.

It doesn't really have to do with anything, but I like the quote, and today, I feel it stands true. I wouldn't trust myself today, either. I HATE MENSTRUATION!!

Anyway.

The weekend was nerve wracking/delightful. I arrived Thursday - 45 minutes early, actually... the bus is beginning to be my prefered mode of transportation - where I met up with Sarah for food at Boomerangs. We ordered a full cow carcass between the two of us, but thankfully we did not - nay, could not - eat it all. Then, it was back home to frantically print off stuff I needed for my interview. Nothing was printing correctly, so I said 'fuck it' and took a quick shower and then high-tailed it over to Mr. Wonderful's.

The night before I left for home, I came home to a phone message telling me I had to make an ad, in French, for one of the programs at the center. For most other applicants, I assume, they would have a full day to work on it. As I would be travelling the next day, I had to get this ad finished that night... with a little help from my friends. I can't say I did a good job with it. With no printer, and outdated software, I had to keep things pretty simple. However, Mr. Wonderful, being wonderful, managed to spruce things up for me. Jallapano also gave me a copy, for backup. I did, and still do, feel a bit guilty for misrepresentating my French proficientcy.

Anyway, the interview was very well, I think. Again with the misrepresentation, though. I always tend to think I always sell myself too much, and then I don't really live up to the expectations. The ole' bait and switch.

After that, I was whisked off to UW when I spend the day training the staff on how to do my job. It was, I must say, rather gruelling and frustrating, but it was nice to be in that office again. I was paid with 4 return SMT vouchers, good for anyone in the maritimes. Granted, UW didn't actually pay me anything, it still is a rather substantial compensation. One or two of them will probably be used up travelling home, but I think two of them will be used for maybe a romantic getaway? Hm....

After the interview, and the day at work, I slowly started to unwind and relax a bit. Now that I'm back in SH, it's starting to re-emerge, but I'll get to that later.

After setting up camping, done solely by Mr. Wonderful (aka: Mr. Outdoors), and a bit to eat, we went down to the beach. Unfortuntely, Mr. Outdoors' outdoors does not include the ocean. He's not a big fan. Actually, he's downright violent when it comes to the ocean. However, it was quite amusing seeing a grown man beat a jelly fish with a pool noodle.

With that said, he does know how to have fun in the ocean....

.....

At the end of every camping trip I've ever been on, I usually leave feeling a deep rage toward my co-campers. Not this time though, thankfully. I think there is something about camping that just makes people crazy. You take people away from all their comforts of home, and tell them to live in a small, cramped space, in the Summer, in the woods, and expect them to get along. I can never do it. Not this time, though. I just enjoyed doing whatever we were doing. I got to say, there was little to do, so we did spent quite a bit of time with my parents. They have a trailer, and have lots more distractions to waste time with. Really, if I didn't know my parents, I'm not sure if I'd want to spend all weekend with them. Mr. Wonderful earns more bonus points.

For fuck's sake. I seem to be rambling on and on. I don't know about you, but I hate reading long posts. There's more to say, but I'll leave it for another time!